A Feeling Unlike Any Other

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So, I had this little problem a few months ago. Basically, I realized that I wanted the primary theme of my book to be something other than what it was [insert face palm]. Unfortunately, that realization is necessitating months upon months of rewriting my manuscript. As I mentioned in a previous post, I was hoping to have my book ready to send to an editor by the end of this year, but there’s no way that’s going to happen anymore.

Truth is, I don’t really even mind that much. I had been really ambitious about my manuscript last spring and summer, but since then, I’ve been able to calm that ambition, which, honestly, has been for the best. While I like that I’m an ambitious person, I also dislike it sometimes. I got so caught up in accomplishing everything I wanted to with my writing that it made me very stressed and a little crazy. It’s been refreshing to put my writing in its proper place. As much as my soul yearns to share my work with others, I know that isn’t essential to my life; there are more important things in life (i.e. God, relationships.)

Also, I am much happier now that I’ve taken a new angle on my story, so it’s worth it to me that it’s taking longer to finish than I had intended. Honestly, ‘taking a new angle on my story’ probably isn’t strong enough language to describe the changes that I’m making. I am revamping the entire thing. For starters, the book is no longer for the Christian market but for the general market. It does, however, have Christian themes. While the inner journey of the main character hasn’t changed a whole lot, the plot has. It is much more intriguing and powerful than it was. It’s also a bit of a mystery now. The new plot really makes the theme resonate much more loudly than the old one did. My book was originally about the soul’s journey to becoming less self-absorbed and more selfless, which, while still thematically present in my book, no longer serves as the primary theme. The primary theme is the contrast between love as an action and love as a feeling and how both must be expressed if one wants to love virtuously.

Another big change is the character of the protagonist’s love interest. Originally, he was a gentle, quiet, deep-thinker, but now he is a snarky, neurotic, quiet, deep-thinker. I didn’t make the change because I enjoy writing snarky characters, although I do. I made it because it enhances the theme. While my protagonist embodies love as a feeling, he embodies love as an action. Although he is aloof and insensitive, he has a servant heart. My protagonist, on the other hand, feels great empathy and love for people but is selfish in her actions towards them. My protagonist and love interest’s different views of love are interesting and attractive to each other yet they are a big source of conflict. I also had to change the interest level of the love interest. I am a sucker for a second-chance romance (i.e. The Notebook), and that was what I had planned for my novel, but that no longer made sense once my theme changed. The love interest originally was crazy for my protagonist, but now she spends a lot of the book guessing whether or not he likes her. I also had to change his sense of humor. I naturally tend to give the main characters my own sense of humor, but I think it’s important to make the humor of the protagonist and love interest slightly different. Obviously, they both have to have a similar sense of humor for there to be chemistry, but they can’t be the exact same. Basically, I had to put a little extra effort into giving the love interest a snarkier, darker sense of humor than I’d normally give a love interest. And I’m not going to lie—that has been incredibly fun for me.

In other news, Splickety Publishing included my short story, A Very Bad Girl, in their Halloween issue of Havok Magazine. It was very exciting for me to be published because I had never been paid for my writing before. It felt so special to receive compensation for my creativity. When you get paid for your art, it affirms that your art has value. I’m not saying that art doesn’t have value if it’s not shared because I believe it does. However, when you get paid for your art, it makes you feel like your art has value to society, and to an artist, that is a feeling unlike any other.

If you’re interested in getting a copy of the magazine, you can purchase it here.