“Seriously, why can’t they bring back manners? People are so rude these days.” Didi Sellers groans when asked about her struggle to maintain her Facebook brand while at work. “I just wish people were more polite. It’s like—Can’t you see I’m posting a hilarious meme right now? Does it look like I have time to create a report for the data analytics section?”
“Working with Didi has been challenging because of her bad attitude,” co-worker Emilia Flores stated. “The other day I heard her phone ring, and then she muttered under her breath, ‘Can you just—not?’”
“I’m sorry, but my social media time is more important than whatever so-called need a customer has. Didn’t you hear about the boy who awoke from a coma all because of a meme? So, there. My social media presence is a life-and-death matter,” Didi said with no cheekiness whatsoever in her voice.
After watching the annual refresher training video on reasonable accommodations, Didi was inspired to file a reasonable accommodation report for herself. “Alexa filed a report for her back pain and got a standing desk, so, then, why shouldn’t I get an accommodation for the pain-in-the-butt responsibilities that keep trying to interrupt my social media time? If that doesn’t sound reasonable, I don’t know what is!”
Xander, Didi’s boss, has yet to notice that she spends 90-95% of her day on Facebook. When a reporter went to interview him, he was sitting at his desk naming his office supplies after famous rappers. “Paperclip, I henceforth christen you Lil Wayne. Stapler, I henceforth christen you Drake.”
When asked what he was doing, he said, “Anything to avoid working.”