Sticky Note is fed up with being snubbed by potential suitors due to a perceived clinginess that she says is completely groundless. After years of feeling judged, she is finally taking a stand against the oppressive prejudice that has kept her from finding true love.
“I’m looking for a normal relationship,” Sticky asserts. “I don’t need to be with my lover 24/7. I’d even be cool with a long-distance relationship. That’s how not clingy I am.”
A source close to Notebook, Sticky’s last boyfriend, claims that Sticky had attachment issues in their relationship. When asked about her relationship with Notebook, Sticky said, “I learned a lot from that relationship. Moving forward, I will do things differently. However, our relationship didn’t end because of me. It ended because of Notebook’s lack of creativity and flexibility. He needs to realize that not everything in life is so linear.”
Sticky insists that she is highly independent and, to cultivate this aspect of her character, she went backpacking in Europe by herself last fall. Backpack reports that she didn’t throw a hissy fit when he needed some alone time and never asked him intrusive questions about his whereabouts.
I can’t imagine why it would, but in case it slipped your mind, I wanted to remind you that National Lost Sock Memorial Day is next Wednesday May 9th. Below is an example of an obituary you can use for your lost socks.
It is with deep sorrow in my heart that I am writing of the untimely passing of Left Pink Polka Dot Sock, Left Women’s Fashion Turtle Sock, and Right Plain White Sock. All three socks lived extraordinary lives and touched every person with whom they came into contact.
Left Pink Polka Dot Sock was a beloved, respected member of the Polka Dot family. She is leaving behind her sole mate, Right Pink Polka Dot Sock.
Left Women’s Fashion Turtle Sock enjoyed long rides in the washer and dryer and was a socker for being worn to bed. She is leaving behind Right Women’s Fashion Turtle Sock.
Right Plain White Sock’s will be remembered for his instrumental versatility in both basic and elegant outfits. He was preceded in death by Left Plain White Sock several months ago.
Though these socks are gone, their memories remain. May they go forth from this world in peace.
Their memorial service will take place in my bedroom on May 9th at 5:00PM. All residents of my sock drawer are invited to offer their condolences.